FEAR...we ALL deal with it, even our children! This week as I watched my girls at swim lessons, I watched them overcome.
It is the most amazing feeling as a mother to watch your child feel the fear, face their fear, and do the HARD thing anyways...making progress towards their goals.
In this episode, I share some valuable reminders in dealing with the reality of fear and most importantly we talk about WHY it is so important that we learn to face and RISE ABOVE this negative emotion.
I have fought against fear my entire life and am learning a better way - God’s Way. A way to effortlessly let it go. Listen in to hear how we can walk in victory...leading with freedom in our lives.
LET’S STAY CONNECTED
Full Episode Transcription:
Hey Mama before we jump in today, I just wanted to take a minute and remind you that we are celebrating the launch of this brand new podcast The Nourishing Mompreneur with cupcakes. But not just any cupcake, we are giving away batches, or four packs of The Nourishing Cupcake jar, so if you don't know what these are, girl, you got to go to NourishingMichelle.com, get the details on them. They are super healthy super delicious cupcakes-in-a-jar, you eat it with a spoon. It's an amazing experience and I want you to have some.
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And I just want to read a quick review today from (boyslgomez), the title is "#goalsformotherhood. She says, "Love how raw and real she is. If you want to hear a fellow mama who loves Jesus and has her feet grounded in the purpose, the Lord has for her, listen to her. Michelle has been my inspiration to be a mompreneur. I love that she makes the possibility of doing something else, or different in your motherhood actually doable, even with having a large family and homeschooling. What a blessing. Thank you for encouraging girl."
Oh, thank you for encouraging me, this means so much guys your support, your feedback means the world as I start this just endeavor, in faith and I love hearing what lights you up hearing what's speaking to you. My time is precious and I just want to take it to pour into you, so if you take a minute of your precious time and leave a review, that would mean the world to me.
Welcome back to the Nourishing Mompreneur Podcast where we get encouraged and empowered as we pursue our greatest potential within the walls of our home. Hey Mama, my name is Michelle Hiatt, and I'm so thankful you're here. Do you feel like your life is good but something in you feels unfulfilled? Do you feel stuck in the trenches of motherhood, exhausted, and working so hard, but feeling like you're getting nowhere? Do you have big dreams you're holding in your heart, but you've been living small? Are you motivated for more, but don't have the clarity or the courage to do anything about it? Do you want to discover God's best and see if it's really possible to be an excellent wife, an intentional mother, and be successful in business, all for the glory of God? As a wife of 16 years, a homeschooling mom of five, and an entrepreneur, I know exactly how you feel. Every bit of it. I truly believe that the most important work you will ever do is within the walls of your home and that there is purpose in every season. If you are a fellow business-minded mama, with a heart for home and a love for Jesus, let's process this journey and grow together.
Hey friends, today I want to talk to you about overcoming fear WITH your kids, you know fear is a loaded topic and I got triggered to want to talk about this week. It's just a huge, huge topic I was thinking about I'm like where do I even start where do I begin, there's, there's 1000s of books and 1000s of songs, there's tons and tons of Scripture about it there's just so much but really I'm like okay, I just want to share with you bite sized pieces of wisdom have inspired thoughts, ideas so that you can be an intentional mama in your life with your kids with your business with your marriage with all of those things, and so I'm just going to share with you the the piece that I've been learning and reminded of this week.
You know fear is something that I'll be honest, I struggled with my entire life, or you may look at me and think "Well, Michelle, you seem super confident, you're not a fearful person." I know I don't seem like that on the outside but no, absolutely not. We all go through fear and I have a bent towards fear I think that some of us have a bent towards fear some of us don't I'm not sure why but I always have I was that little girl that was just scared to death in her bed at night, I have memories of laying in bed. I was so scared, with my vain imagination seeing things and just just gripped with fear. I couldn't even get out of bed and go to my parents room like that how scared I was.
And over the course of my life I've had to face fear time and time again just like the rest of us. I remember one of my most significant times where I really had to just conquer fear was when I got pregnant with my first child, I was planning a natural childbirth, but I had never really experienced pain before you know you only perceive childbirth through the lens of the media and what people tell you and how scary it is but I wanted to have a natural childbirth, but I had never broken anything never had stitches never didn't know what my pain tolerance was like it was just all brand new. And, you know, having a baby is such a miracle, but it is a scary thing, no matter which way you go about it so me just wanting to specifically prepare for childbirth, put me on this path of really facing a lot of fear and diving into my faith in deep ways and a lot of the verses that I clung to my pregnancy with my son, are the verses that I continue to just go back to and repeat to myself to my children, time and time again so all that to say fear is a is a heavy hitter for me. It's something that, it's very near and dear to my heart, unfortunately, but let's talk about that for a minute because this is something that we're always going to have to face and guess what our kids have to face this too.
So this is something that we really need to talk about and what what kind of brought me to want to have this conversation is my two little girls started taking swim lessons this week. And my five year old, you know, she's been swimming for a while but always with puddle jumpers on and just, just so scared so scared to take them off, so scared to swim on her on. And so going up to swim lessons, she just kept telling me how scared she was and how nervous she was, and I mean she was just so gripped with fear and I'm telling you, her first day of swim lessons, she was literally shaking like trembling in fear that's how scared she was, but then the next day came and it was like a complete shift, she was like a new child she faced that fear and so quickly, she was able to overcome it and work through it, it wasn't that she wasn't still nervous, but every day gets better and better and I'm telling you, it was just incredible.
It is the best feeling as a mother to watch your child feel the fear to watch them face their fear, and to do the hard thing anyways and make progress towards their goal. It is the best thing in the world. But isn't that what we're supposed to be doing too. Isn't that the journey that we're on as well. So let's just talk about this together. A couple of things that I learned and notice just from like the first couple days of swim lessons I want to just share with you some of my observations and how it kind of connects to us and our life. So the first day, obviously, there was a crazy amount of nerves, like I told you she was shaking in fear. I mean, just terrified. I was so proud of her that she didn't just like have a fit and panic because she is my drama mama. If I ever have one.
But the reality is that feeling fear, feeling uncomfortable when we're doing something new when we're doing something different when we're growing in some way, it is normal, it is normal, it is part of the process. So it's just a reminder that it's okay, it's okay. On day two, she had that major attitude shift. And it was, it was crazy how quickly she turned I mean, the day one and day two results, and her experience with such a short time in the water was incredible. And it reminded me that we are you, we are so much closer to breakthrough, than we know. They say that you know the door to success and failure, live right next door to each other and it is so true, often it's like right when we're on the cusp of wanting to quit right there for that breakthrough, and she told me that day after a swim lesson she said, "Mom, I feel like I already know how to swim."
When you're ready to go to the next step. It's going to happen quickly and easily and it's going to happen. You just need to be preparing just keep preparing stay the course, just get ready, be in a state of ready and when it's time that breakthrough will come. You know those opportunities will find you that you're waiting for but just continue the course, and know that you're not that far. You're not that far. And you know, you know when it comes to motherhood, I just think about that phrase that so many times we hear in the sense of like hey let's just keep swimming insinuating like we're just drowning in life we're drowning in motherhood, and I just don't really like that because I don't think we're supposed to be drowning yes it's hard yes sometimes we go under, but let's be overcomers, I mean that's the point right let's grow and get better let's overcome. Let's learn new techniques, new strategies, let's learn to breathe better to swim better.
One thing that I noticed was, as we're moving forward, we have to remember how good it feels on the other side of fear. It's exhilarating. My daughter I cannot tell you how lit up, she was after her swim lesson she felt so good her competence was just sky high. It was a beautiful thing. Sometimes, that when we are moving towards something. Our goals are maybe not even on the right thing, maybe we should not focus on doing that thing but how we're going to feel after we do that thing, because we're emotional people right, and we're emotional beings so if we appeal and we address our emotions that's gonna go really far, but we can't live by how we feel. If we trust our instinct, we're always going to want to run to what feels safe and comfortable, and living small living safe living comfortable, it's not going to serve the world best, and it's not going to set our children up to serve the world to their fullest potential, either.
So focus on how you're going to feel on the other side of that fear how you're going to feel after you do that thing, maybe not even on that, that activity itself because it is a beautiful way to overcome and work through that. And like I mentioned my daughter just had so much confidence. It was such a beautiful thing to watch. And it was just a reminder that when you move into your fear, and you work through those things that feel hard that feels scary, it gives you confidence, and you have more confidence for next time.
But not only that you have confidence for other areas of life. My daughter told me after the first day of swim lesson she was like, I just loved everything that I learned today, and I just love to see her confidence, she was believing in herself to her swimming, it felt impossible. I mean come on. She's five years old she's watched her older sibling swim, she just kind of felt like "I can't do it, I just can't do it." But it was cool to see her show up to her life with courage and to see her belief system grow because she did it. She did that thing.
And when I watched from now my little girl, my three year old, she's been a little bit on the struggle bus with the swim lessons. She wants to fight it, she wants to scream she wants to kind of, you know just resist. But watching her it's again it's a reminder that fighting, fighting it makes things worse. Fighting the lesson that we're supposed to be learning makes the process hurt so much worse. When my daughter screaming and crying. It's a bad experience. She's sucking in water, she's choking, it just doesn't. It's just harder all the way around.
I mean think about labor, you know, when we give birth, so much is embracing that process, embracing those contractions because when we find it. When we let ourselves get gripped with fear during labor and delivery and we tense up. It makes it hurt so much worse. So, just understanding that hey this is normal, we can press into this we can jump into this, and really just letting go and trusting.
You have to trust our Heavenly Father, our heavenly teacher. He is a good father and he has our best interests in mind, he's not going to let us down. He's not going to let us drown. He knows what's best, and the lessons that we're paddling through are for a purpose and we can have so much hope in that.
But you know watching my daughter swim and kind of struggle, feel the fear work through make progress build their confidence. All these things that I just mentioned, reminded me that this is why moms, this is why we're on this journey together. This is why we're doing what we're doing because we have to work through fear in our own life because our kids, we are always forever going to need to guide them through overcoming fear and moving forward into uncomfortable and challenging situations for their entire life. We need to be leading by examples, we need to be showing up, not just talking the talk, but walking the walk. But how, how do we do this as moms, how do we overcome our fear.
You know one thing that I've been really aware of just recently is that fear and pride is at the root of everything, it really is when I can trace back. There's a million different emotions that we experience as women, but when we really boil it down and we trace back the root of it, it goes back to fear and pride, but we're just talking about fear today. I think it's really important when you are experiencing a negative emotion, you're having anxiety, maybe you just feel overwhelmed, maybe you're feeling sadness, whatever that looks like trace it back and if you see that fear is at the root of it. Then let's just repent and release it at the feet of Jesus, that's the only way. It is the only way.
One thing that I'm really learning in my life is that we don't have to fight our fear and work at it like we thought we might need to, I feel like when it comes to self development I've been on the self development journey for like the past three years, I've been a believer, my whole life. So, you know, working through fear in my own life but also knowing the verses, hearing the worship songs about fear being our self development with everything fear is just a focus of so many things. I've always just felt like I had to show up, I had to do this I had to overcome it, I had to fight through this thing, but I'm learning a better way.
I'm learning that we can lay at the feet of Jesus, and he's got. And I know that so simple and so basic, but I'm telling you like we can get it in our head, but to really get it in our heart is a whole other thing.
God is love, and we know in John 1:4 it says, "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." I've always known that verse I've always spoken that verse but I've not quite understood how that works. Okay God, your love, your love is perfect, perfect love casts out fear. But to really understand that means that like it's not God's issue like we just need to receive more of Him, He loves us so much, we can't even comprehend his love, but how much love are we actually receiving how much space do we have How available are we to him? Are we spending time with him? are we opening ourselves up to really receive all that He has for us? I know that I have been, I'm a fighter, I'm stubborn I feel like I've pushed God away so much from, he just wants to love me he wants to hold me and I'm like "nope God I got things to do," I've pushed him away and I and the areas of life that I get gripped with fear are the areas that I've resisted the full capacity of His love.
We just need to receive more of His love, and also cling to our identity in Christ, you know, one of my favorite verses is "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, and a spirit of love and of sound mind."
And after the first day of swim lessons, my, my little one, the one that was struggling, she told me on the way home. She's like, "Mom, I'll, I'll be brave, next time, I promise I'll be brave next time." I said, "Baby, you are already brave, you just show up tomorrow and be who you are."
What if we were just who God says we are. God hasn't given us a spirit of fear. He's given us a spirit of power. He's given us the ability to overcome. He's given us the ability to have self discipline to rise above our emotions to rise above our realities, the things that we see with our eyes. But who does God say that we are? Let's believe that and walk in that. Let's walk in that identity. We don't have to try to be brave, we don't have to try to be, you know, without fear we don't have to fight against it, we just need to receive more of His love and be who we already are in Christ.
One of the things I'm learning is that, in the presence of the Lord, everything else, every problem, every fear every anxiety, every frustration it all just fades away, everything goes into perspective, everything is made right. And I've always been such a doer. But God is teaching me to transition from a Martha to a Mary just to sit the feet of Jesus and I'm telling you, I'm like wow this is where healing happens this is where miracles and breakthroughs happen. It's just in your presence and in your love.
We complicate things so much as Christians because we feel like we have to do so much. And I just want to tell you, friend, that what I'm learning right now is that wow, it's not that hard. We don't have to fight this, these, these fears, these, this demon if you will, that feels like it's lurking at every corner, and manifesting itself in all these different emotions and all these different circumstances and in all these different ways, but we can just go to Jesus run to him sit at his feet, receive His love, press into His presence in the presence of the Lord, everything is made right.
I love that song by Natalie grant, she says "Your presence is my greatest weapon," and it's so true, worshiping God, being in his presence, it is a weapon, it is a warfare, that's the way we need to fight these battles, that is the way this world is too crazy it is too scary our kids, and the things we have to navigate as mothers are like unreal.
I mean we have so much ahead of us, we have so much right now on our plate, facing our fear working through it is so important we have to do it first, and we need to lead our children to it, this is why this conversation is so important not just about our children it's about us because we're, we are to be good stewards with the children that God has trusted us with. They are our arrows that are going to go out into the world, but we don't have to work for it in fighting against it and more self development books and digging deeper and just pressing through facing that fear and doing that hard thing anyways yes, that's all good and true but at the end of the day, like the real, the real weapon we have is worship. The real warfare, the real victory comes from just being in his presence.
I've been reading actually through Joshua and as His people has chosen people I've been crossing over into the Promised Land taking the land that was promised to them. The most important thing was that the Ark of the Covenant, the presence of God was with them. If the presence of God is with you, you cannot fail them victory is yours, that is the number one thing.
Seek His presence, and I promise everything else will fall into place, and if we can teach our children even at a young age to just get on their knees and run to Jesus, to push them through yes they got to do it yes we have to take action, but at the end of the day, the most important thing is that we are seeking Him first. Fear is something that I said I've worked through my entire life, there's obviously a reason that the Bible says 365 times. We are not or do not be afraid. This is something that we all have to face and it's something we have to face on the regular this is like a continual process.
It's not like we conquer our fear and then we're out of the woods, it's like no we, we have the next thing and the next thing, but when we understand that this is life which is a process, this is a cycle this is just the flow of life, we can more quickly embrace it and surrender to that.
Surrender at the feet of Jesus, we don't have to find it in our flesh and I just want to encourage you guys that today because I have been such a striver for so long I was actually listening to a podcast, the other day, yesterday I think, and she was just using the word strive and I knew what she meant. It wasn't anything out of line or anything like that but the word just kind of bothered me because I'm learning to transition out of striving and into surrender more, and I was like, It's not about striving, it's about striding, striding S-T-R-I-E-D, as in, walking, walking in sync with the Father. Walking in step with him, linking arms with him letting him lead us. We don't have to strive, we need to stride with Him in His presence just let them lead us. His yoke is easy and his burden our light, and I just have faith that we can walk in victory as daughters of the King and raise our children as Kingdom warriors.
When we just do First things first and apply these principles. I'm learning a better way to overcoming my fear I fought it for my whole life. I fought it through all the self development and it's still I mean there's just those realities like hey, you got to do it, you got to push through it, there's not been a time that I've ever done a Facebook live video or anything like that that I haven't felt scared or uncomfortable or nervous. I know if you're like, it doesn't seem like that, but no, it's felt hard every time you guys have no idea how hard this podcast was to launch, no idea like this is, I've told a handful of people because I'm not ashamed of it like this has been like the hardest, scariest thing for me and it's so funny like I've done a lot of things but this is felt, you know sometimes office is so so important, guys.
Sometimes the things that feel the most scary are the things that are the most meaningful. And those are the things we actually need to do, and this is that for me like doing this podcast has felt so heavy and airy and vulnerable and all of the things, but I know the purpose that it has, and I know that it's meaningful and I know that I'm walking in obedience, and I know that I can trust God and that as I open my mouth. He's just going to speak through me and use me I'm just going to press into that, and I'm probably going to show up like I mean I'm telling you, even recording the first few I'm like this is, this is so weird. This is so awkward, whatever uncomfortable. I'm here for it, anyways, and I know that as I go, I'm going to grow, I'm going to get more clarity.
But we have to move, we have to press into that. It is normal to feel the fear. But there is a better way we don't have to fight it, we don't have to muscle through it we don't have to strive for victory. The victory is ours. There's a better way. We just need a fight by pressing in his presence, worshiping him sitting at his feet, making space to receive more of His love, keeping our eyes on Him because when we keep our eyes on Him, everything else falls into place and if we can do these things in our life, in our marriage. in our business, with our children in every area every time a circumstance comes in and something wants to be realized. If we can practice this and do this, and teach us to our children, my goodness guys we are we are walking in the fullness that God has for us. What a beautiful, beautiful life that God has called each one of us to, and I am so here for it and I am so here for you, and I'm just excited with all that God's doing, and I just thank you for your time today and I just want to bless you on my way out.
Father God, I thank you for the mom listening right now, Father. I just bless her in the name of Jesus. God, I just thank you that you have not given her spirit of fear. You've given her spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind. Lord, and I pray that as she goes through her day that her eyes would be so fixed on you or that you would just give her a hunger and a thirst for your presence, or she would just sit with you and receive your love that you would just show her your love and new ways but allow her heart to receive it. May she know that in your presence, everything else melts away. Every fear every anxiety, every problem falls into place because you are the victory and you are on the throne of our life, God and we trust you. We trust you that you are a good father that you are a good teacher. And even though we may go under sometimes, even though we may come up crying and choking and struggling, God we won't quit, we're not going to quit. We're here to walk in obedience, and we just surrender our day to you Father, we thank you for the peace that passes all understanding. Lord, we thank You that we can walk in your presence and in alignment with you. We bless you. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Hey Mama, real quick before you run off and do all the things. If you found value in today's conversation, it would mean the world to me if you left a review and subscribe to my podcast. I know, you know, how precious time is. The biggest thing that you can give me for taking the time to share on this podcast, is to leave a written review. This helps me on my mission to encourage and empower others who are pursuing their greatest potential from home. So head over to iTunes and scroll down to the bottom of the Nourishing Mompreneur Podcast to rate, and leave a super quick review, to let me know what spoke to your heart. If you're feeling a little extra today, take a screenshot of today's episode and tag me on social. I value your time so much and appreciate you connecting with me, find me at NourishingMichelle.com/connect.